May 2009

LizardWhile claiming to have a headache is the stereotypical method for the human female to avoid having intercourse with her partner, the Lake Eyre dragon lizard has her own (and possibly more effective) methods of getting out of her "wifely duties". From here:

"When Lake Eyre lizards copulate, the male bites the female's neck, climbs on top of her, wraps his tail around hers and inserts one of his two penises."

Sounds kind of like human copulation so far. Well, with the exception of the two penis thing. That would definitely change things....but for the female lizard, the bites on the neck are less like the hickeys you may remember from your teenage years and more like a predatory animal attacking you.


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Haggis once it has been prepared to eatIn the highlands of Scotland scurries a small hairy creature known as the haggis.  Highly elusive, haggis hunters have searched for centuries to capture one of these small creatures, but only the most skilled trackers and trappers are successful and able to turn the sweet meat into the country's national dish.

So hard to spot are these little beasts, that descriptions of the animal vary wildly.


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Mexican Water MonsterTypically, if the title of a creature includes the word “monster,” it’s not gonna be cute. (A few characters from the movie Monsters vs. Aliens might make an exception.) But the Axolotl salamander (Ambystoma mexicanum)—also known as the Mexican water monster, or Mexican walking fish—is one adorable little weirdo.

A member of the Tiger Salamander family, specifically it’s a neotenic mole salamander, and gets so newborn-pink and cute because it actually never grows up! The species larvae don’t undergo metamorphosis like other salamanders, so it stays all aquatic and gilled, sort of like a preemie tadpole.

Resembling a cross between a frilled lizard and a shrimp, the water monster looks like it could either A) be the most adorable, smiley-sweet pet ever or B) swim up your ear canal and eat your brain like an underestimated alien. The truth is that, while a real animal that is often used as a pet, the Axolotl is in more danger from us than we are from it.

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Barreleye fish.: Super weird fish.This fish is the barreleye fish. Those two things in the front that look like eyes are, in fact, its nostrils. Its eyes are the green domes that look straight up through its see-through head. Yes, its eyes are inside its head, and yes, its head is transparent. The thing that looks like a mouth is indeed its mouth. Phew, I thought I was gonna say that was its starboard porthole. This rare fish can be found in the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian oceans and on the Colbert Report, where it has recently come to the attention of the horrified American public. The barreleye is a deepwater fish living in 1200 to 6000 feet of water. Scientists believe the barreleye uses its creepy tube-like eyes for scanning the water above for food. Its eyes have binocular focus allowing it to track food above against the ambient light of the deep sea.

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Okay, you know what? If I go to carry my garbage out to the curb and encounter this thing clinging to the side of my garbage can? I'm calling the National Guard, because I'll be pretty sure we've been invaded, Independence Day style. Don't even try to tell me you don't see the similarities... Giant Coconut Crab

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The Monkey BarThe oldest profession may be a little older than we think. Prostitution, largely known as the domain of humans, and let's face it, males in particular, actually may have its origins in Chimpanzees. I know, it sounds like a hoax, but it was reported by the Discovery Channel that male chimpanzees exchange meat for sex. The difference, apparently, is that meat is not a currency and this is done on a longer-term basis.  Perhaps the longer-term basis could be equated with a more traditional type of marriage than we now have?  The more money, the more honey?

The researchers found that more meat doubled the male Chimpanzees luck with the ladies- strangely reinforcing the money,-honey theory.

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