Globsters: Aptly named mysteries of the deep

St. Augustine Monster: The earliest recorded globster.The sea has yielded many a mystery since man began strolling her beaches. Anyone who has been to a beach has seen the occasional slimy thing washing around in the tide or strewn across the beach, but what do you do when that thing weighs two tons and stinks up the whole town? First you name it, and the chosen name for such things is Globster.

A globster is any large organic mass that is otherwise unidentifiable. But what specifically is a globster? Don’t we all wish we knew the answer. The most famous globsters are never properly identified and linger on forever in the collctive imagination of humanity. The phrase was coined in 1962 by by Ivan T. Sanderson who famously described the Tasmanian Globster of 1960. This legendary globster washed up in Tasmania and measured an impressive 20 feet long and was estimated to weigh between 5 and ten tons. Eventually some boring scientists let the air out of the carcass in 1985 and identified it as a whale, but not before spawning the awesome name.

One of the earliest globsters is the St. Augustine Monster of 1896. This smelly hulk was discovered November 30 by two globster trailblazing young boys who logically figured it to be a whale. BORING. The wonderful thing about globsters is that the most likely answer is never the one reported. Whale blubber and giant octopus carcasses? No way, try eco-plasm that is growing out of control because of our lack of enviro-responsibility. Or a dead alien planet surfer.

THE go-to globster resource: HERE