I ran across a wonderful article on Wikipedia the other day, while I was trying to figure out what kind of spooked, swimming mammal might have been caught on thermal camera by the Destination Truth team in New Zealand.  I settled on "platypus" as the most likely suspect, and also the funniest.  Platypus!  Who could possibly be scared by a platypus?

Well it turns out that you really should be, because they are one of the world's few venomous mammals.  Which I'm sure is hardly news to anyone living in New Zealand or Australia, but came as quite a surprise to me.  Maybe I hadn't been paying enough attention back when I was unemployed and watching at least three re-runs of Steve Irwin's "Crocodile Hunter" on Animal Planet.  Because I did not realize that although the platypus looks cuddly, you do not want to cuddle one!

Both the male and female platypus have a spine (called a spur) on their hind legs.  However, the female's is harmless, because she has no venom sacs.  The male's spur is attached to venom sacs and fully functional, and able to deliver quite a painful wound.

Although this venom cannot kill anything as large as an adult human, the pain from it is considered "excruciating."  It causes swelling, and a hypersensitivity to pain "that persists for days or even months."  Intrigued by this lurid description I went looking for accounts of platypus attacks and found none.  Well, one: an abstract of a scientific article about a researcher who was stung while handling his research subject.  

Overall it seems that the threat level from the platypus, that egg-laying mammal with an otter's tail and a duck's bill, is relatively low.

The same can probably be said for the small handful of other venomous mammals.  Presumably if venomous mammals were a bigger problem, this Wikipedia article would not have seemed so entrancing. We basically have the platypus, four kinds of shrew, and the European mole.  

I had no idea, when I read and re-read Wind in the Willows as a child, that the mole has venomous salivary glands.  The toxins in Mr. Mole's saliva can paralyze earthworms, "allowing it to store them for later consumption."  I am now left with an image of Mr. Mole paralyzing an earthworm with his venomous saliva, and tucking it away in the pocket of his waistcoat.  Right beside his pocket watch, presumably.

Please allow me a moment to shudder.  Thank you.

Continuing on, the inclusion of four species of shrew is interesting.  The shrew is an interesting animal anyway.  Although it looks like a mouse, it isn't even remotely related to rodents.  They have a ridiculously high metabolism, and have to eat about 90% of their body weight daily in order to survive.  Imagine a 150 pound person having to eat 135 pounds of food every day, lest she die of starvation!

Four different shrews also have poison sacs along their jaws, which can release poison down channels in their bitey little teeth.  Fortunately we have little to fear from the shrew, because the bite is aimed at the shrew's prey.  Its effects reportedly include "a slight inflammation and reddening of the skin."

Creative Commons-licensed image courtesy of Flickr user jackhynes