House-hunting family spots Sasquatch
Has America's most famous cryptid taken up residence in Detroit's vast swath of abandoned homes? A recent eyewitness sighting comes from a family of four who were driving around the outskirts of Detroit at random, looking for a new neighborhood to live in. The Browns had decided to pack it in for the day, and had turned around to leave, when the wife spotted something moving inside an empty blue two story home with broken windows.
The family slowed down the car to get a better look. At first, the Browns thought it was a man reaching out of the broken window. The father thought, "he gonna get cut, that dude, with the broken glass, man." Then they realized that the arm was covered with short orange fur.
The entire creature then exited the house via the broken window. The Browns describe it as being "like a monkey," about seven feet tall, covered with short reddish brown fur, a face that was "human-looking," and a huge, triangular head.
The creature was holding a large stick. When it spotted the Browns, it started pounding the ground with its stick in what the Browns thought was clearly an aggressive or alerted fashion. As the Browns rolled away from the scene, they saw the creature calmly walk away through the bushes nearby.
Michigan is certainly no stranger to Sasquatch sightings. Michigan's Upper Peninsula is a hotbed of Sasquatch activity. But has Bigfoot moved into the fringes of Detroit, which is usually described as being "like a war zone without the war"?
At first glance, there would seem to be little in Detroit that Bigfoot would want. Surely there is no shortage of shelter out in the woods. And abandoned homes rarely have much in the way of food. (We know little about Sasquatch's diet, but it is presumed to be omnivorous much like ourselves and other primates.)
Sure. It could simply be that the Browns spotted a guy wearing a big Macklemore thrift shop fur coat and a fur hat. Or someone could be looting abandoned homes while wearing a Sasquatch disguise to scare off anyone who might bother them. But personally, I like the idea that Bigfoot is simply hunting for a nicer place to live, just like the Browns. I hope he gets good terms on his mortgage. Detroit needs all the help it can get.