Chupacabras Chomp on Furry Friends
If you found your dog with a puncture mark on his neck, you might think one of the following things has happened:
- The Cullens from the Twilight series have set up shop in your backyard
- Fido decided he’d rather be Cujo and went after a cave of bats
- Your dog has joined a cult and needs to be stopped before he wrecks havoc on the town and tries to poison you with purple kool-aid
But what if your dog was actually attacked by a chupacabra?
A chupacabra (Spanish for “goat-sucker”) is a cryptid (a creature whose presence has been suggested, but not yet proven by science) of North and South America that has been on the cryptozoological radar since the early 1950s.
When the attacks first occurred, locals attributed them to a half-human, half-vampire creature--until the eyewitness reports started coming in. First sighted in Puerto Rico, the creature supposedly looks like a heavy, mini-bear with spines all down its back and tail.
Of course… it’s also been described as coyote-like, rodent-like, a hairless dog, a snake-tongued panther, and a kangaroo. So we’re looking at a hissing, hairless rat-dog that mates for life, climbs trees, and carries its bloodsucking babies in a pouch.
ManBearPig, anyone?
In the first reported chupacabra attack, eight sheep were found dead with puncture wounds, drained of their blood. Since then, chupacabras have reportedly killed various livestock and pets—all of them found the same vampiric fashion. All of the attacks have another unusual fact in common--no signs of a struggle. In fact, aside from the complete lack of blood and the pair of puncture bites, the animal victims are otherwise in tact.
In a single Puerto Rican town, Canóvanas, up to 150 animals were reported killed. That’s either one hungry chupacabra or one busy vampire cult.
Chupacabra reports come from all over the world, from Maine to Chile—and even as far as Russia. The most recent one was from Argentina, where a dog was found with puncture wounds on his neck, completely drained of blood—with no blood stains on the ground at all.
CNN has called the chupacabra the “Bigfoot of Latino culture,” rendering it nothing more than a myth. After all, its name wasn’t even coined by a scientist—it was named by a Puerto Rican comedian, Silverio Perez.
And though the bodies of several so-called chupacabras have been found dead, after being examined they were discovered to be coyotes with mange. And Puerto Rican police claim that the attacks are made by panthers, wild dogs, and other not-so-creepy beasts; others say that it's definitely the work of humans.
That said, the President of the Puerto Rico House of Representatives Agricultural Commission has still called for an investigation into the happenings.
What do you say? Is this bloodsucking beast no more than a legend—or the real deal—or maybe even a cover-up of something else, like scientific experimentation or alien probing?
One thing’s for sure. My dog shows up all punctured and bony and bloodless on my doorstep, I’m putting up an electric fence. And maybe some garlic.
